Boris’ Big British Brexit Black Friday Sale Has Begun

Boris Johnson and the Conservative Government have opened up the biggest black sale event ever selling off anything and everything British they can get their hands on.

In a bold move they listed many public sector organisations like the NHS on sites like eBay and Amazon.

In typical Tory style, they are selling off all the things they are meant to be looking after and running under a caretaker capacity and replacing it with a privatised version which they and their friends can directly or indirectly profit from. 

Many Tory politicians and their friends and family either own the companies they plan to use or have a large amount of shares in them.

After the police force suffered the loss of 21,000 jobs from Conservative austerity cutbacks, Boris Johnson recently pledged to supply 20,000 new police officers but no one knows where these new officers will come from. 

Concerns have been raised as to whether they will be supplied by a private business like G4S.

A move made popular by the previous prime minister Theresay May who as home secretary axed thousands of police jobs forcing the ‘force’ to offer millions of pounds worth of contracts to G4S, a company her husband was a major shareholder.

Jacob Rees Mogg is suspected to be waiting on the side lines ready to buy up the organisation’s with the plan to turn them in to profit driven businesses for his portfolio. 

Mogg can then invoice the government each month with the taxpayer footing the bill for services rendered.

A spokesperson for the prime minister said “the plan is to sell off everything we can before the election in December so should comrade Corbyn and Labour win they can deal with the mess while we still make bags of wonga. There is nothing wrong with that. We have the public’s best interest at heart and that is why the working class people love us even though they are generally lazy, useless and stupid.”

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