NHS Not For Sale Says Boris Moments After Sticking It On eBay For Black Friday

Boris Johnson today rubbished Jeremy Corbyn’s claims that he had talks with US officials about selling them the NHS as part of a trade deal, moments after listing it on eBay.com the US version of the popular auction website. 

Prime minister Johnson who has been proven to lie numerous times over his career as a journalist, as part of the Leave campaign leading to the EU referendum and during his role as prime minister insists that you can trust him when it comes to the NHS.

The NHS appeared on eBay late yesterday with a starting bid of £350 million. The listing is set to end on December 12th, the day before the UK goes to the polling stations in the umpteenth election since the 2016 referendum.

When asked about the eBay listing Mr Johnson replied with a long line of bumblings, head wobbles and arm waving now affectionately  known as testiculating. A word meaning waving your arms around while talking bollocks, a word created from observing Mr Johnson’s style of political talking.

We were unable to get a definitive answer from Mr Johnson whether he or his government listed the NHS on eBay or whether the NHS is in fact up for sale or not.

What we did get told was that ‘this is why we should be concerned for the NHS under a Labour government.’ We are not sure what was meant by that but it echoed the statement which was given by the Conservatives after they were question why NHS waiting times were at the worst they have ever been while under their government.

A spokesperson for eBay was unable to tell us officially who the biggest bidder currently is but did unofficially whisper to us this cryptic clue… “let’s just say, this guy from the Isle of Skye dunnae wear troosers because they are a bit stinky because he is a fart pants.”

Make of that what you will.

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