The Brexit Party have this week released details of their new addition to their manifesto.
The biggest problem the Brexit party was unable to address was the lack of quality British workers willing to take the place of European workers once they have been expelled.
“It’s all well and good having British jobs for British people but the British working class have become lazy and expecting.” Said Brexit party member Dick Head.
“With many of them preferring to stay at home and be government funded to spend time with their friends and family.”
“They’d rather not spend their days bent double in fields picking fruit, cleaning hotels or offices or delivering takeaway food when the government will happily pay them not to work”
“This means that we have a bit of a crisis. We will soon suffer with a labour shortage. Very few Brits who voted to remove our European friends from our shores to free up British jobs for British people don’t really want to work. They didn’t really expect Brexit to happen.”
“So we now need to find people to work the important jobs the British public won’t fill.”
“So we the Brexit Party are going to reintroduce the slave trade but bring it upto date for the new century. Instead of kidnapping people against their will, we are going to offer them the jobs and compensate them with money for their hard work… in fact, it will work so well they won’t even be slaves.”
“While they are here we will house them and give them access to health care and educate their children. If they want, some of them can open up businesses like shops, cafes and restaurants to help feed their fellow workers and the British public.”
“All we ask is that the countries we deal with offer the same work opportunities for our people, a bit like what we have here in the UK between England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. A kind of like a Union. One which we can also trade with with a lot less customs regulations and paperwork which just gets in the way.”
“We think this is an excellent idea and one we think will take Britain forward. I can’t believe no one else has had this idea before. We blame the bloody EU getting in the way and stopping us from creating work and trade Unions with our neighbours.”