Local man Bob Rexiter was horrified this week when he was told to ‘go back to work and stop standing around talking about fellow workers’ by the factory manager. Mr B. Rexiter – known as ‘the old cantankerous wanker who should have retired many years ago’ by his work colleagues – believed that he was the hardest working man in the factory surrounded by a load of slackers and freeloaders. Something he wasn’t afraid to share with his co-workers… regularly.
What Mr B. Rexiter hadn’t realised was that he had been under the watchful eye of the management who were taking notes. They had been monitoring his daily habits and after a couple of weeks they had noticed a pattern emerging.
Mr B. Rexiter was spending a lot of his time watching his fellow workers and then standing around telling others of what he had seen and what he thought of them. After totting up the amount of time he was seen leaning on radiators, machinery and standing at the drinks machine talking, it was found that Mr B. Rexiter was in fact spending far more time standing around doing nothing more than talking compared to those he had been constantly bitching about.
After being shown the evidence and facts of his contradictory and hypocritical behaviour Mr B. Rexiter told the factory manager to ‘fuck off’ insiting that he didn’t know what he was talking about and that the evidence submitted was nothing more than ‘fake news’ and were wrong.